Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Our God is a healer

About half of you know what I used to do. I used to cut, the last time was October 2009 and the scars i inflicted on myself were supposed to stay with me for a long time. I am here to tell you that we serve a God who heals. I have no scars anymore. NONE!!!!!!!!!!!! Just saying that God can and will heal you if you let Him.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Suffering

One of the biggest objections to the idea of a loving, good God is the amount of suffering in the world. People will ask how can God tolerate such pain and suffering if He is good? Now have you ever noticed that so often the people who raise this objection live relatively comfortable lives and the people who suffer are grounded so much more in their faith. One last thought, so often the pain we go through producess more character then the comfortable times. Perhaps the next time you are going through something you will remember to be grateful, and if you have the hope of eternal life living in you then even more so you will have more to be thankful.


Monday, November 29, 2010

'Tis the Season

It is that time of year again. Packed malls, screaming children, and bad cooking (just kidding). As we hear the cliche, the reason for the season, do we ever think more deeply then the nativity? Have you ever considered the fact that the same Jesus who hung on the cross once was a lovable infant. I look at my adorable three month old nephew and I start thinking about the fact that Jesus was once that small, that the little baby grew up to die so that you and I could spend eternity with Him. As you exchange gifts this year, think about the fact that Jesus exchanged his place in heaven to come down to suffer and die.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Id Strikes Again

We just finished studying nSigmund Freud's theory of the Id, ego, and superego. While a lot of what Freud says is well out there at best I wonder if maybe he was onto something.

It seems as though the recurring theme in my life this year is be careful what you pray for, because it seems I pray something then approximately 20 minutes later I am trying desperately to take it back.

I am not sure how much you know about the id, ego, and superego, but supposedly here is how it works. Your id works totally for gratifying whatever impulse happens to come. Your ego supposedly keeps that in check. On the off chance your ego lets its guard down the id may escape and you may accidentally say something totally inappropriate (or a Freudian Slip). The superego is you conscience.

Like most things in Christianity this is totally backwards of the world. If we have accepted the free gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ we know that the Holy Spirit lives within us. That is your spiritual id, your ego is where your social standing comes in and will "quench the spirit" if the ego is your selfish thoughts that keep you from doing some things, and your superego checks with the social norms to see if something is alright. I hypothesize that on those rare occasions when your spiritual ego and superego take a break, the Holy Spirit comes in and you find yourself praying the things that everyone told you not to pray (did that accidentally tonight, although I am unable to recall which taboo prayer I prayed). Ultimately I think we would live to our fullest potential if we just let the ego (self) die and allowed the Spirit to guide and change our lives.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Love-hate relationship

I have discovered that I have a love-hate relationship with the Holy Spirit. Sometimes the Spirit is awesome, and then there are times when I wish that the Spirit would just leave me alone, ha ha. Like tonight, I am reading and there is a cross reference to Psalm 42:1, which says, "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God." At first I simply thought that it was a pretty verse, but before long that still, small and painfully annoying voice said, "Do you really pant for God like that." Because the picture painted here is not of a deer gracefully drinking from water, but of a parched animal in the desert longing for water. Picture walking through the Las Vegas desert on a blistering July day where the temperatures are well over 110, you are not kind of thirsty, you are dying. To be honest I really do not think that I long for God like that. Do you?

Friday, November 12, 2010

Do you remember your first love?

After reading James 4:14, which speaks about our lives being a mist that appears for a little while then vanishing I started thinking about the past few months and the different things that have been happening in my life and in the lives of those around me. Why do we make every provision for a tomorrow that may not come, yet the ultimate end that awaits each and every human we shrug off and pretend it does not exist? Maybe we missed something. We do not have the excitement that we should. We do not act as people that have been radically transformed by God's grace. Just a reminder if in fact you do claim to be a Christian he has given you a life that does not compare to any dollar amount. Maybe we live in an age where we have become not only desensitized to the world, but desensitized also to the richness of God. Perhaps the time has come for us to examine our heart to see if we need to rediscover this God who saves us.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Extraordinary

Extraordinary is a book by John Bevere. I am working through this book with a friend of mine. Tonight we did our first study, here is a brief summary of chapter one.

We see ourselves as ordinary people. We are drawn to living extraordinary lives, but fell that is quite impossible and therefore we have stopped trying. We have somehow missed that we serve an extraordinary God and are made in His image. That goes for everyone, like the smelly person sitting next to you in church or the jerk who cut you off and every person in between. We are called to love each other and so much more with the realization that they too are made in His image.
We have a limited view of God and which has given us a limited view of our enemy which limits our ability to fight against him.
God doesn't call extraordinary people, he makes people extraordinary.
If we set our hearts and minds on God and seek after Him we will not only find Him, but He will also make us extraordinary.
Before God we were all ordinary after meeting Him, He gives us something extra and makes us extraordinary.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

What are we doing?

Ever noticed that when you are at church a lot of people just stand up, kind of roll their eyes, sing and try to clap in time, but that is it? Have you ever asked yourself if you believe what you are singing, or has church become the sing a long that will not end? Last week I found myself asking if I believed what I sang, I cannot tell you how many times I have sung about how our God is mighty to save with absolutely no emotion. If we believe that we have been saved by the grace of God then why is it that we stand around occasionally raise our arms, while we secretly think it is nothing and that we really have not changed? We know that if someone rubs us the wrong way, chances are that the spirit of God doesn't flow out, we wish the wrath would just hurry up and consume them. Have you ever considered that those obnoxious people who cut you off, maybe flip you off, or are just plain obnoxious are the very people we are to love? Love your neighbor, Jesus said, but I can tell you that the words that came out of my mouth earlier today when that jerk cut me off were not exactly full of the spirit. Maybe that God that you "gave your life" to is still waiting for you to surrender your life. When was the last time you felt truly alive?

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A biggerr piece of the picture

I have known for a while that God wants me in missions, last year He gave me the where (Nicaragua), then a couple weeks ago He gave me the who, the deaf. If you don't know I am going to school to become a teacher. So I started researching and I found a couple who works at a deaf school in Nicaragua. I am beginning to correspond with them and in a few years hopefully in a few years I will be down there. check out their site
makingadifferenceinnicaragua.org

Monday, August 9, 2010

Let's do this!

I asked someone a while back ago how people witnessed. The more I read the new testament the more I see that people just lost it, that's how they managed to do so much, they took every opportunity to share their faith. As far as early Christians were concerned they lovingly kicked butt and took names. Why are we so defensive? Why are we (myself included) so focused on protecting ourselves and not focused on going into satan's turf and winning this thing. Victory is ours so lets not sit back and wait for it to float down. Last week I heard something during devotions. God is gonna ask us who we took with us to heaven. If our purpose was just to "get saved" then why are we still here? Don't you think there is a good reason that God has you here still and didn't just take you home the instant you accepted Christ? There are people dying every day who don't know Christ there are people who feel rejected, unloved, unwanted, etc... and they have no idea there is someone who wants them, loves them, and accepts them. Live as an example so that people ask for the reason of the hope that is in you then tell them. Don't look like the world. If it sounds like the world, walks like the world, and looks like the world it is probably the world. Don't be afraid to be weird. Be different because God is different and because when you are different (in a good way) people notice and ask.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Pursuing Christ

The theme of the camp this year is one name one pursuit, so i started thinking about it and what God kinda showed me was intense, yet simple, and a much needed reminder. If we are pursuing God we shouldn't be looking back. Think about it for a second. If you are looking back you are going to keep tripping over things because well you can't see where you are going. If you are a Christian and you are focused entirely on who you were and not who God is making you into, it is going to be difficult to pursue God, it is like chasing something and looking the opposite direction, sheer stupidity. Read Hebrews 12:1

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Canada

Middle of my trip and I don't think I have been so wiped out in my life. The first week went all right, I had a few old campers and at the end one of my campers came to know Christ. The second week was full of struggles. It started with my toiletries bag going missing and my bottle of wellness (if you dont know what that is it is this terrible tasting stuff that helps your immune system) being dumped and my stuff picked through thankfully nothing else went missing and I got my toiletries bag back. Wednesday evening at the beginning of chapel the camp directors pulled all the cabin leaders into the dining hall and told us that the washroom (aka bathroom) had been messed up by a couple of campers and they did not know who had done it so we had to clean up the poop covered bathroom. While I was scrubbing down one of the toilets I started thinking about well everything and I started laughing because more or less that is exactly what happens when Christ comes and cleans the crap out of our lives (literally). The following evening I got the opportunity to talk to one of my campers and she opened up a lot to me (pray for her). Then we settled into bed with a thunderstorm going on outside. I had thought about telling a scary story, but chickened out because I'm a wimp when it comes to that sort of stuff and the thunder was not helping. Right about the time we were falling asleep another counselor came to our cabin and asked to talk to one of the counselors so I went out and she told me that there were tornado warnings and if we heard the bell we would have to make a run for the basement. Kind of freaky. Oh well.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

The stuff that holds us together

So today I was watching two different sermons by Louie Gigilio, Indescribable and How Great is our God. If you have not watched them I would encourage you to do so, they are on youtube.com. I warn you it is humbling stuff to think about. Anyways in the middle of the How Great is our God sermon he starts talking about laminin. If you don't know what it is, it is more less the stuff that holds you together. He shows an image of it, and it is the perfect shape of the cross. It's so true though if you think about it the stuff that holds us (those who have put their trust in Christ) together when it seems like life is falling apart. Go watch the videos then marvel at the indescribably great God we serve.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Missions

Matthew 28:19 says to go into all the world and teach the nations. He did not say, "I call you to be a missionary." No He said it to everyone. I was reading on the new this morning that the death toll in China is about 3000, Haiti was in the hundreds of thousands. I can guarantee (that took 4 tries to spell correctly, Mrs. Morris) you that not everyone who died this past year was Christian. Why aren't we being effective, why are we sitting back, twiddling our thumbs thinking, "well maybe tomorrow..." James warns about boasting about tomorrow, as does Proverbs 27:1. The time is now not tomorrow. You don't know what could happen tonight or tomorrow. If you were to die tonight whose fault is it that your unsaved friends do not know about Christ. Maybe you are reading this and thinking, "well I don't have any unsaved friends." Ha! well it sounds like a good idea to go out and make some friends. A few months ago I didn't have any unsaved friends. Guess what I prayed and now I am now working with more unsaved people then I could count. Many of whom are now friends. James 2 states that faith without works is dead. If you claim that Christ changed your life you should be out there proving it.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Freeing captives and light

Has God done a miraculous work and freed you from something? Anything from addiction to depression? If you have seen God work and got you past a "mountain" that was hindering you from God and you have been set free, have you since worked to set other captives free. Whether we admit it or not we have all struggled with some kind of bondage or we are still struggling with bondage, but if we have been set free it only makes sense to go out and set others free by taking Christ to them.

To switch gears a little bit, I was reading in Matthew 5 right after the "blessed be's" (beatitudes) where Jesus talks about us being salt and light. It says that a city on a hill cannot be hidden. When we accept Christ we should be letting his light shine through us and others should see it. The term closet Christian should be an oxymoron. We should be willing to go up on a high hill and let our lights shine. In the words of that church song we all were forced to sing at some point, "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine."

Combine the two, let God work, and watch as "mountains are moved"

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Freedom?

I need to know this is semi new for me. Has anyone else been quieted for saying something about Christ? At work I was having a jolly good time working the grill and talking with my coworkers which is fine as long as we stay busy. About two weeks ago I was conversing with my coworker who asked about some things in Christianity. I started talking and my boss told me to leave Christ out of McDonalds. I like to work lobby when I am tired because it requires little to no thought, but on a normal day I really don't mind the grill or fryer or whatever because I am something close to conscious. At first the thing with my manager didn't seem like much, but as of late I have discovered that I am working lobby almost everyday, while I dont mind much, I wonder if there is a reason behind it. After all only one person works lobby at a time and there is little to no chance to come in contact with my coworkers. Furthermore, I figured that Christ was not spoken of because it might 'offend' someone, but my coworkers can speak with freedom about drugs, alcohol, sex, and who they screwed over recently with language filthier than the bathrooms I had to clean. Of course when I say something they say either I am being intolerant or else attribute it solely to "religion".

Friday, April 9, 2010

Oh lots of stuff really

Ever gone through one of those periods of time where you just can't seem to explain why you are down? Ever felt so spiritually disconnected you just can't do anything right? Well that is more or less what I just went through. Anyways after starting work on Wed. I came to the realization of a few things.
First: I really don't have time for a spiritual disconnect. I am working at a place were there are few if any people who know Christ. That's my missionary field right now.
Second: If love and living a Christian life were totally dependent on feelings well we'd be a bunch of lousy Christians. Yesterday evening I just asked myself, "if i were totally connected and passionate about God right now, what would I be doing differently." and attempted to fix the issues, not such an easy task.

Now then if you are going through one of those rough spots, ask yourself what you would do differently if in fact you were totally on fire for God and what you can change. Then pray for it.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Classical Craze

After discovering that the first five pages of "Twilight" are written at a 4.2 grade level I decided that that for the next year I am going to read only classic books. This may be crazy for a student who is still in high school (only 2 months left though), but I want to see if it makes a difference. I still can't believe that... 4.2, that means that if required to write at grade level all 5th graders could undoubtedly come up with better. I regret to say that I actually was obsessed with the series a couple years ago.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Spiritual disconnect

As of late I have been feeling that oh too familiar feeling of a disconnect from God. It is a frustrating thing to deal with, but not impossible to revert. Yesterday evening I noted that it had been a good three weeks since the last time I read the Bible, therefore starving myself spiritually. Worse than that my prayer life had become pitiful, praying only when something big was going down and late at night when I could not sleep. Perhaps the worst of all of it was the recurrence of some sin in my life, not cutting just to clear that up, but some not so pretty sins. However as sin often does, it blinds you from seeing what it is that you are doing wrong, how to fix it, and the salvation we can obtain from Christ. Tonight I decided to stop being lame and pick up my Bible. Normally I would not be in favor of a random search of the Bible, but it worked tonight. I turned to Psalm 38 (the book I have been intending to start). Read it now then come back. After reading it twice I decided to go online and find some commentaries, just for grins. This is what I found:

Isaiah 53:5 "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."

Mark 14:50 "Then everyone deserted him and fled."

Mark 15:3-5 "The chief priests accused him of many things. So again Pilate asked him, 'Aren't you going to answer? See how many things they are accusing you of.' But Jesus still made no reply and Pilate was amazed."

Christ suffered and died for you. Now maybe you know that in your head, but let it sink in a little bit, He died a horrible gruesome death so that he could spend eternity with you. Every single little secret sin, which nailed him to the cross, he sees and still loves and forgives you, that is a radical love. Even though many people will never love him, he still loves them. Think about the person who has hurt you the most, and I might add repeatedly with little to no regard to how it hurts you. Love them. A little tough, right? And yet Christ loves us despite the fact we regularly spit in his face.

- Salvation means making safe, more specifically after death
- soteriology - theological study of salvation that covers the how we get salvation and how the
process is began (weird terminology, hard to explain)
- freedom from bondage to sin
- salvation is not earned
- It brings a person back into the right relationship with God
- Salvation must be accepted or claimed
- Repentance is more than just saying sorry for past mistakes, it is being sincerely remorseful
for rejecting Christ.
- Salvation is rooted in the grace of God
- God is good, perfect, and fair so sin keeps us from being in a right relationship with God.

I would encourage you to also google the names of God with scripture, a website I found to be helpful was: http://christianity.about.com/od/biblestudyresources/qt/namesofgodjesus.htm.

I ask for prayer for the trip Katie and I are planning for Canada this summer and for my job which I should be starting next week sometime.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Opportunity

I have the awesome opportunity to (for lack of better word) mentor a 8th grader. She is 14 and the youngest in her family, she has the whole tough chick routine and knows how to play church girl when needed. Please pray for that, I really hope she can know Christ on deeper more personal level. Also looking for good devotionals to go through with her.

Also pray for my job interview tomorrow, so nervous.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Wow

Ok so I have been experimenting with "plarn". If you dont know what plarn is it is plastic bags like you would get from the grocery store that are cut up and used like yarn. While many cliches would fit with this I have to say tha God can take anything and make into something good, even ridiculous plastic bags from the grocery store. This is definitely a fun way of recycling

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Things not to ask God.

These are just a few weird things that happened to me following prayers.

Prayer: God, give me more opportunities to talk to people about you.
Answer: Within 10 minutes I found myself talking to a Hindu man from Trinidad.

Prayer: God, if this is where you want me please make it clear
Answer: Within an hour the small group leader wants me to lead the small group for the next two weeks.

Prayer: God show me where to look for a job
Answer: Now hiring signs on many McDonalds, as well as on my AOL job finder. (God your so not funny. lol)

Prayer: Please help me to if nothing else get the interview for ANY job.
Answer: Within 24 hours McDonalds calls.

Ok lesson for today, make sure you are willing before you ask God. It is not that I am not willing, it is simply surprising the response that came so quickly.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Perhaps I did hear right

When God told me to go back to my old church I cleared out my ears and tried again, the message was the same. *sigh* ok, God, whatever you say (may have said that with a little sarcasm). This morning as I was driving to church I asked God to show me in some way if that church is where he wants me, then He is gonna need to do something, anything to make that clear. Well He made it clear, and it could be because I was about ready to give up on them. However, as I am beginning to see, God's time is not our time and I should not assume that what I think should come at a certain time will not.
Well as it turns out I am leading small group for the next two weeks, that may not seem like much, but it is the group with all the upperclassmen, and I have two goals I am praying God will work out. First, that the Holy Spirit speaks through me and convicts, and Second they will leave wanting to give their world a little more Jesus. Regardless I think that if the youth drastically changes from being focused on itself to focused on God that the rest of the church will see that and go. Anywho, Aaron, you may have been right, but we shall see.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Ok

James 1:19 - 20 (NIV) "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring the righteous life that God desires."

Ok so after memorizing James 1 random parts have come back to me and well some was encouraging, and some, like this passage, was simply convicting. Last Sunday at youth I showed up angry, angry with them and let's just say it was not exactly what God wanted. When God called me back to that church I was kind of sad because I really loved my old church. Anyways going to a youth group to change things for the better is seriously impared when one (such as myself) goes in and blows up. Oh, I kept on my good little church girl face, I have learned that one at least, but it was at least to upset the small group leader. So I screwed up and now I have to make amends and it will not be fun.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Spiritual Gift

I took a spiritual gift test. Here are my highest along with their description. The first two were tied as the highest.

Missionary: "the ability to communicate across cultural barriers and plant churches where there is no knowledge of the gospel. It is usually acompanied with a distinct calling and a miraculous lifestyle. In Greek (apostolos) 'a sent one', or 'a messenger', a Missionary. Sometimes called the gift of Apostle, although true apostles were required to have seen the risen Lord."

Prophecy: "speaking what God wants said with clarity, creativity, and power. It is also caled the gift of Preaching. The primary ministry in this gift is not prediction, but in confronting people with the truth about God and man - with conviction and repentance as the result."

Serving: "a gift which expresses the love of Christ by taking care of lowly or time-consuming tasks to allow others to be more effective ministers. Similar to the gift of Helps, but here the work performed is menial rather than skilled."

Saturday, March 6, 2010

God, Why did you hurt Elmo?

Just sitting here in barnes and noble reading. I see a mother pushing her her child in a stroller who is holding an Elmo book. The mother turns for a moment to look at some books and the child leans over the side and drops her book. Then instantly starts crying to her mother asking why mommy hurt Elmo. I caught myself thinking, "I sure am glad I was never like that." Then I realized that I do that all the time with God... Oops.

Location:Barnes and Noble

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Long Division

This has really began to irritate me. This may be offensive so if you are are feeling particularly sensitive just go to a different site. I want to ask why there are so many denominations that fall under the Christian umbrella (excluding those that deny fundamental teachings from the Bible)? Have you really sat down and thought about it? We as the body of Christ should be acting unified, but we aren't like that when we look at the fact that there are so many denominations. I have nothing against baptists, Presbyterians, Methodists, etc... but I do have an issue with the fact that we are not acting like a unified movement going into the entire world.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Vancouver

So now that I am back I will post the journal I kept while there, try and stay with me I am a little ADD when I write.
January 14
Well I have to say that I am optimistic about the rest of the trip. Already I can see God knitting our hearts together. I confess that I judged some of the other girls, but now after such a short time I can that I love each and every one of them. I was thinking about the verse in Psalm 139 that says that God knit us together in our mothers womb. After learning how to knit I now understand the full meaning of these words. When a person knits there is so much deliberation or planning in each and every stitch, more than that there are so many different results.
All of our planes were on time, PTL. I am bunking with Karima, Alexa, Ms. Anderson, and Mrs. Nix.

February 15, 2010
Today we had an awesome time going around the city taking random photos. It was great, especially getting to talk to people. We really bonded especially since we stayed together and did not break into teams for the scavenger hunt. I am really praying for the Holy Spirit to come in and mess us up (in a good way) and bring us together. Tomorrow we really begin work. Today I saw the Spirit beginning to work. I'm wiped out after a long day.

February 16, 2010
Today was awesome, so far that is. Tonight we are going to a warming station to serve hot cocoa from roughly 6 PM until midnight. Today we did a prayer walk downtown where they are planting churches. We had the amazing opportunity to talk to a few homeless people and we prayed with a man named Uga (spelling may be off). I am impressed with Lynzee and Karima's ability to just walk up and talk to people. I wonder what kind of struggles with which they deal. OK, that was bad, I fixed my sentence like I am turning this in for a grade or something and it is still awkward. I am praying that we are filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit tonight, we will need it, no doubt.
Wow it has been so incredible. Just giving people hot chocolate around the olympic games. There were some really interesting people and I really rhink we left a pretty big impact in some people's lives. Some of the people were so impressed or appreciative of just a small act of service. The lesson learned tonight was that it does not matter how big of a thing you do, the biggest impact you can have is just loving people as you do it.

February 17, 2010
Slept in a little. We went to the Muslim friendship centre today. While some of what we learned was a little bit of review, some was new and it was convicting because I have judged them in the past. We went to the mall which was fun and crazy.
When we got to the station today I managed to take more than half of my fingernail off, but after regaining my composure (or lack there of) it was great just going out giving people hot chocolate again.

February 18, 2010
This morning we went to North Vancouver, but before we left I was reading in Esther, and verse 4:16 really changed something in me. Basically Esther said she'd help the Jews and she said towards the end, "If I perish, I perish." Could you imagine being so devoted to your people you were fully willing to die for them. What is even more crazy is that is how we should be looking at ministering to people. Anyways, I had some great conversations on the sky trains and the sea bus with people. I need to pray for Steven (who has food poisoning, or had), David (who's bought a house), Delana, and another lady I met on the train (I did not get her name). Only David is for sure a Christian, a really cool story. I have decided that I need to purposely put myself in situations that require me to talk to more people about Christ.
Wow what a tiring night, it seems everyone is tired, achy, or sick. I really have to pray for everyone on that note. It was great seeing the people's reaction to receiving hot chocolate. So many asked what the catch was. A little disappointing that I did not get to talk in depth to anyone, but still able to offer a little warmth.

February 19, 2010
Well today we went to the Buddhist temple and the Indian cultural centre. It really saddened me to see the number of deceived people there. On the train I met a man named Jason who was from Trinidad and believed in Hinduism. It was interesting that a lot of people believe what they believe because that is what their parents believed. I am slowly seeing that I am able to talk to anyone on a train (or rather I am able to open up to let God talk). If God is for us who cares if anyone comes against us.

February 20, 2010
Our last full day in Canada, I cannot believe it. Today we went up to Lynn Valley to an old fashioned suspension bridge. On the way there I got to speak to a lady going to visit her friend, Sharon, who is in the hospital so I will be praying for her. Then, on the way back I met Mary Helen who has lost her faith. On the sky train I talked to a few people who were anti religion, they said they were not against God, but rather against His followers. It is sad to see what a terrible job we, as Christians, are doing. Well it is time to change that, and that will be my mission when I get home. I am so glad about the things that God has allowed me to see and learn on this trip. It is funny that some of the other girl were saying they were impressed with "my" ability to talk to people, but it scared me to death, but as soon as I opened up more to God's will it was not hard, and it was not my words, rather God's.
Why does the mission trip have to end when I get home? God has shown that he can and will use me, so what does geographic location matter. Who knew?

Friday, February 12, 2010

From time to time in a person's house they have to do spring cleaning, well I am at the point where I am going to attempt to do the same only in relation to my walk with God. If there is something I am doing or watching or listening to that causes me to not grow deeper with God or simply wastes my time I do not need it. I have enough distractions in my life. I encourage you to take a look at some of the things you watch or what you spend your time doing and ask yourself if it causes you to want to grow deeper with God or make you desire to reach more people for Christ

Thursday, February 11, 2010

God is a funny person

In light of recent events that have really drastically changed things in my home I have found myself wanting to spend more alone time with God. For the first time in a really long time I really do not feel alone, and it is funny because I find myself "alone" more of the time. Like the prayer group I attempted to start. No one comes, but having that 15 - 20 minutes set aside to pray really helps, if people come awesome, if not well whatever. It was especially funny because in lunch today I was at a table alone reading the Bible (James in particular) and my eagle buddy walks up and says that I look lonely when it is really quite the opposite. Have I given up the thought of friends? Ha, not a chance, but they are no substitute for God.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Spiritually drained

Today was one of those really long, really hard days, perhaps you know what I am talking about. Over the past couple weeks its like my life just went into a tailspin. First it was at school where no one was coming to prayer group and it was discouraging, there was also a lot of stress on grades and what not. Then it stretched to home life as well, one of my sisters is not talking to me at all and another family member I saw doing something not so good well when everything happened in concentration this weekend it really just killed me. Today I was drained physically because I have not gotten much sleep because I've been worried about everything else. I am leaving for Vancouver in less than a week which is going to give me the opportunity to witness to basically the whole world in a week in one location. I have to say that all the trips I have been on even to the local rescue mission, I have been attacked spiritually in some way or another. So I have to ask.... DID I REALLY THINK THAT THE DEVIL WAS JUST GONNA LET ME GO THERE WITHOUT A FIGHT?!?!? I mean come on this is not rocket science. So on the way home from Bible study I just got to the point where I was saying, screw you satan. That I would say is something everyone needs to do sometimes. The prayer group even if it is only me will meet faithfully every morning, excluding next week, whether or not any one else shows up, because like Holly said it's better that at least one person is praying than none at all.

I might also add that sometime is think that God gives us too much on purpose so that we have to rely on Him, there is never too much for him since we can do all things through Christ.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

True service flows from love

I have really been struggling on the whole issue of my church. The thing is that I have not loved my church and since I was not really loving my brothers and sisters I was really not loving God and therefore I was attending church more as an obligation. Well as a result I have become more cynical about my church and acting more like a little kid by whining about how horrible it is there. I think until I learn to love my church as God does I will not be able to do anything in it.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Not so sure

I saw someone in my family doing a sin, nothing that would land jailtime, but I saw them do it no less. They don't know that I know and now I'm lost. Worse than that this person hurt me a lot in the past and for the most part I forgave them, but I'm getting to the point that I don't know that I can. I'm feeling convicted to because God has forgave me countless times and this is not even against me. Why is it so hard for people to forgive? I think it's almost like saying even though you hurt me deeply I'm going to allow you to be a part of my life. I think Christ endured much more than physical pain on the cross. When you see someone you love doing something destructive it hurts a lot just imagine that intensified infinitely since it is every single person who has hurt Him in many different ways.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

10 Days Left.

At last the Vancouver mission trip is right around the corner. I'm just a little nervous (which will probably change to really nervous within the week) mostly just because its a different trip than any other I have gone on before. The group who is going is really awesome, they all have awesome hearts for God. Please keep us in your prayers for safety, and also for the people we will be ministering to just pray they have open hearts.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Youth Group Convictions

So Wednesdays used to be the best day of the week, now they are the worst. I have been complaining about going to this youth group because the students there are I dont even know, but not good. Last week in one of the discussions I mentioned that God did not call us to be comfortable. Now going to the youth group has been a little out of my comfort zone, but for the most part I have been comfortable doing my own thing. Then as I was leaving one of the leaders stopped me and talked and said basically that God has called me to minister, not be comfortable, and that if Im expecting to be comfortable I am in the wrong thing. Ok shall we talk about conviction. Besides that look at my attitude, I have been acting like a spoiled little kid crying about having to do something on the outside of my comfort zone. That is really messed up. So what if I am not comfortable, so what if my so called friends abandon ship, so what if I am not the most popular person on the planet, ultimately none of that matters.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Nicaragua

I've known for nearly a year that God has been calling me to Nicaragua. Aaron told me a story about this guy who was praying for a country for 6 months that was the commitment to pray for a country to see if God did something incredible. It got me thinking about finding some random country to pray for, for the next 181 days (Feb 2 - Aug 2 or 6 months). Wait a sec though, I already have a country to pray for. So for the next 181 days I will be praying for Nicaragua, let's see if God does something huge.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Really?

I'm really becoming less and less impressed with my church. I come to youth today expecting to be fed and have something for the week. Why I would expect this since its hasn't happened before is beyond me, but none the less I expect and want a lesson. Instead we spend the entire time playing a game that has nothing to do with what we were actually supposed to be doing. Is that why we have youth, so kids can come have fun and feel comfortable? Not that I'm opposed to either, but thats not all its about. I wonder seriously if my youth group even has a purpose or if we are just having youth to have youth.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Spiritually Anorexic and ergency prayers

I have to ask this because I was really bombarded last night by God. How much do you read your Bible? Do you read just a little to check it off but an hour later you can't even remember what you read? Do you read for an entire hour and become tomotally engrossed in what you read and maybe not forget? Those are awesome places to start and I'm still stuck there. If Jesus said that we are not to live on just food but on the Bible as well then why do we tend to read only a little in the mornings and that's it? What's the difference between a steak and some corn? Some corn will be digested in less than 30 minutes but a steak takes a while to digest. I propose to solutions to our spiritual aneroexia. The first is to read the Bible three times a day instead of just one time cuz face the fact that it probably does not sustain you against every spiritual attack. Or if you really don't have time memorize a couple verse and keep saying them over and over in your head. Basically be a spiritual glutton instead of a spiritual aneroexic.

Has anyone noticed that emergency credit cards are used in a lot of non emergencies and continuous prayers are used only in case of emergency? Maybe you aren't the best at praying? Just try.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

A jealous God

Ever thought about how odd it is that we serve a jealous God. Let me rephrase cause that sounds like a bad thing. We serve a God that is so incredibly loving that He not only gave His only son but he wants our thoughts and actions to be about Him. How much time do you spend daily in fellowship with God? 15 minutes, an hour? Before I get all preachy I will admit that I spend a very little bit of time with God. It has improved from the past, but it is so easy to forget God when going through the everyday motions. There is something for me to resolve to do this year, spend more time thinking on and worshipping the creator of the universe. How about you? How often do you think of every single thing in your body that has to be working perfectly or you have major complications. My oldest sister a year and a half ago nearly lost her husband (26 at the time) to a cardiac arrest because he had a weird heart condition, he survived because by the grace of God my sister happened to wake up and perform CPR until the paramedics arrived. She has drawn so much closer to God in giving thanks that everything in her body is working and that each and every day she and her husband have life. I honestly cant think of the last time I thanked God I was alive and well. Can you? What about instead of fitting God in your schedule which is nearly impossible do to His greatness, fitting your schedule into God's. That may mean that some things you do daily that you dont really need may have to be removed.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Two for the price of one

Im just going to post two in one because I'm a little behind here.

December 28, 2009
It is insane to think that God uses not just ordinary people but also weak hopeless failures (then again i suppose His options are limited. God's Word commands us to surrender everything to Him. Well what does that actually mean (my order may not be perfect if you expect perfection I will direct you to another blog)? First we have to come to grips with the reality that we are sinners, hopelessly lost without God and need Him. Then God starts to mold us into who we need to be, as we become more filled with the Spirit our desires start to shift. Slowly, but surely we break old, bad habits and new ones start to take root. But some habits are difficult to break, some seem to have a tight grip on us. We are in bondage to them and even through we know full well we can't make it without God and maybe this sin we are in bondage to is wrong we still serve it because it is comfortable and it seems to be safe. Maybe you have broken out of those or maybe your still struggling, we are all at a different place in our walk with God. What I have been struggling with over the past several months and am still struggling with is bitterness and anger which when left alone leads to depression, and from depression I spend less time with God. Depression or feeling down is hardly a sin, but when it takes the place of God it definitely gets to that. The last little bit of surrender needs to be talked about a little. It is the surrender of the will. If you are even the least like me a strong-willed control freak, the thought of surrendering control is difficult terribly frightening. In the past I have found myself bargaining with God, trying to keep some control while surrendering it. Then just when I think I have God under my thumb I fail to keep my side of the bargain and the crazy thing is that God still loves me. Surrendering control will likely be a life long battle for me but hey I've got God on my side.

January 9th, 2010 (that is weird to type)
Satan has been tormenting me for the last several weeks with different thoughts. Most of them lay with what I feel God is calling me to do over the next few months at my youth group and also school. Most of them deal with failing the task even with God or tempting me to crawl deep back down into depression where its safe and comfortable. But being comfortable won't do a single thing for me, or anyone. I know what I am to do so why stop for fears. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." We as Christians are running and race and we should expect that Satan will do all in his power to trip us up.