I gotta ask

I have to ask y'all, has anyone seen the Spirit of God moving recently? I am angry right now because the Spirit does not seem to be moving anymore. At least not where I am. I am angry that at church, the one place where we should be open, is one of many places where we build walls high and have superficial relationships. A few weeks ago while at youth we broke down into small prayer groups, it broke my heart when every kid prayed for their family/parents, but no one was willing to say for what reason. I have seen their families they are spectacular actors. I understand to an extent why no one wants to open up, gossip in this town travels faster (and is more damaging) then a wildfire on a dry, windy day in this town. I did a head count and we are missing the One who makes it count.

Spiritually drained

Today was one of those really long, really hard days, perhaps you know what I am talking about. Over the past couple weeks its like my life just went into a tailspin. First it was at school where no one was coming to prayer group and it was discouraging, there was also a lot of stress on grades and what not. Then it stretched to home life as well, one of my sisters is not talking to me at all and another family member I saw doing something not so good well when everything happened in concentration this weekend it really just killed me. Today I was drained physically because I have not gotten much sleep because I've been worried about everything else. I am leaving for Vancouver in less than a week which is going to give me the opportunity to witness to basically the whole world in a week in one location. I have to say that all the trips I have been on even to the local rescue mission, I have been attacked spiritually in some way or another. So I have to ask.... DID I REALLY THINK THAT THE DEVIL WAS JUST GONNA LET ME GO THERE WITHOUT A FIGHT?!?!? I mean come on this is not rocket science. So on the way home from Bible study I just got to the point where I was saying, screw you satan. That I would say is something everyone needs to do sometimes. The prayer group even if it is only me will meet faithfully every morning, excluding next week, whether or not any one else shows up, because like Holly said it's better that at least one person is praying than none at all.

I might also add that sometime is think that God gives us too much on purpose so that we have to rely on Him, there is never too much for him since we can do all things through Christ.

Family time

This weekend I went out to visit my grandpa in Texas. It made me sad to see how much animosity there was between my dad and my grandpa. Now let me give you a little background info on my dad and his parents. My grandma really wanted to have a child, but she miscarried, eight times. When my dad finally came around she babied him, which made my grandpa think less of him (long complicated story). Anyways my grandpa never really had an education past the eighth grade and a whole lot of other stuff to go along with my dad's extreme displeasure in my grandpa. My dad and grandpa do not get along really at all. Both are stubborn. This makes me sad because in seeing this I got one of those great moments where it turns back on yourself. I realized that I really had this bitterness in my heart towards my dad and I had not forgiven him. I started thinking about it more and more and I realized that when my dad is a 90 something I do not want to have the same problems that he has with his dad. So thats the topic for tonight. Forgiveness.

Forgiving someone for something is not exactly easy to do, but God calls us to forgive as he forgave.