Vancouver

So now that I am back I will post the journal I kept while there, try and stay with me I am a little ADD when I write.

January 14

Well I have to say that I am optimistic about the rest of the trip. Already I can see God knitting our hearts together. I confess that I judged some of the other girls, but now after such a short time I can that I love each and every one of them. I was thinking about the verse in Psalm 139 that says that God knit us together in our mothers womb. After learning how to knit I now understand the full meaning of these words. When a person knits there is so much deliberation or planning in each and every stitch, more than that there are so many different results.

All of our planes were on time, PTL. I am bunking with Karima, Alexa, Ms. Anderson, and Mrs. Nix.

February 15, 2010

Today we had an awesome time going around the city taking random photos. It was great, especially getting to talk to people. We really bonded especially since we stayed together and did not break into teams for the scavenger hunt. I am really praying for the Holy Spirit to come in and mess us up (in a good way) and bring us together. Tomorrow we really begin work. Today I saw the Spirit beginning to work. I'm wiped out after a long day.

February 16, 2010

Today was awesome, so far that is. Tonight we are going to a warming station to serve hot cocoa from roughly 6 PM until midnight. Today we did a prayer walk downtown where they are planting churches. We had the amazing opportunity to talk to a few homeless people and we prayed with a man named Uga (spelling may be off). I am impressed with Lynzee and Karima's ability to just walk up and talk to people. I wonder what kind of struggles with which they deal. OK, that was bad, I fixed my sentence like I am turning this in for a grade or something and it is still awkward. I am praying that we are filled to overflowing with the Holy Spirit tonight, we will need it, no doubt.

Wow it has been so incredible. Just giving people hot chocolate around the olympic games. There were some really interesting people and I really rhink we left a pretty big impact in some people's lives. Some of the people were so impressed or appreciative of just a small act of service. The lesson learned tonight was that it does not matter how big of a thing you do, the biggest impact you can have is just loving people as you do it.

February 17, 2010

Slept in a little. We went to the Muslim friendship centre today. While some of what we learned was a little bit of review, some was new and it was convicting because I have judged them in the past. We went to the mall which was fun and crazy.

When we got to the station today I managed to take more than half of my fingernail off, but after regaining my composure (or lack there of) it was great just going out giving people hot chocolate again.

February 18, 2010

This morning we went to North Vancouver, but before we left I was reading in Esther, and verse 4:16 really changed something in me. Basically Esther said she'd help the Jews and she said towards the end, "If I perish, I perish." Could you imagine being so devoted to your people you were fully willing to die for them. What is even more crazy is that is how we should be looking at ministering to people. Anyways, I had some great conversations on the sky trains and the sea bus with people. I need to pray for Steven (who has food poisoning, or had), David (who's bought a house), Delana, and another lady I met on the train (I did not get her name). Only David is for sure a Christian, a really cool story. I have decided that I need to purposely put myself in situations that require me to talk to more people about Christ.

Wow what a tiring night, it seems everyone is tired, achy, or sick. I really have to pray for everyone on that note. It was great seeing the people's reaction to receiving hot chocolate. So many asked what the catch was. A little disappointing that I did not get to talk in depth to anyone, but still able to offer a little warmth.

February 19, 2010

Well today we went to the Buddhist temple and the Indian cultural centre. It really saddened me to see the number of deceived people there. On the train I met a man named Jason who was from Trinidad and believed in Hinduism. It was interesting that a lot of people believe what they believe because that is what their parents believed. I am slowly seeing that I am able to talk to anyone on a train (or rather I am able to open up to let God talk). If God is for us who cares if anyone comes against us.

February 20, 2010

Our last full day in Canada, I cannot believe it. Today we went up to Lynn Valley to an old fashioned suspension bridge. On the way there I got to speak to a lady going to visit her friend, Sharon, who is in the hospital so I will be praying for her. Then, on the way back I met Mary Helen who has lost her faith. On the sky train I talked to a few people who were anti religion, they said they were not against God, but rather against His followers. It is sad to see what a terrible job we, as Christians, are doing. Well it is time to change that, and that will be my mission when I get home. I am so glad about the things that God has allowed me to see and learn on this trip. It is funny that some of the other girl were saying they were impressed with "my" ability to talk to people, but it scared me to death, but as soon as I opened up more to God's will it was not hard, and it was not my words, rather God's.

Why does the mission trip have to end when I get home? God has shown that he can and will use me, so what does geographic location matter. Who knew?

From time to time in a person's house they have to do spring cleaning, well I am at the point where I am going to attempt to do the same only in relation to my walk with God. If there is something I am doing or watching or listening to that causes me to not grow deeper with God or simply wastes my time I do not need it. I have enough distractions in my life. I encourage you to take a look at some of the things you watch or what you spend your time doing and ask yourself if it causes you to want to grow deeper with God or make you desire to reach more people for Christ

God is a funny person

In light of recent events that have really drastically changed things in my home I have found myself wanting to spend more alone time with God. For the first time in a really long time I really do not feel alone, and it is funny because I find myself "alone" more of the time. Like the prayer group I attempted to start. No one comes, but having that 15 - 20 minutes set aside to pray really helps, if people come awesome, if not well whatever. It was especially funny because in lunch today I was at a table alone reading the Bible (James in particular) and my eagle buddy walks up and says that I look lonely when it is really quite the opposite. Have I given up the thought of friends? Ha, not a chance, but they are no substitute for God.

Spiritually drained

Today was one of those really long, really hard days, perhaps you know what I am talking about. Over the past couple weeks its like my life just went into a tailspin. First it was at school where no one was coming to prayer group and it was discouraging, there was also a lot of stress on grades and what not. Then it stretched to home life as well, one of my sisters is not talking to me at all and another family member I saw doing something not so good well when everything happened in concentration this weekend it really just killed me. Today I was drained physically because I have not gotten much sleep because I've been worried about everything else. I am leaving for Vancouver in less than a week which is going to give me the opportunity to witness to basically the whole world in a week in one location. I have to say that all the trips I have been on even to the local rescue mission, I have been attacked spiritually in some way or another. So I have to ask.... DID I REALLY THINK THAT THE DEVIL WAS JUST GONNA LET ME GO THERE WITHOUT A FIGHT?!?!? I mean come on this is not rocket science. So on the way home from Bible study I just got to the point where I was saying, screw you satan. That I would say is something everyone needs to do sometimes. The prayer group even if it is only me will meet faithfully every morning, excluding next week, whether or not any one else shows up, because like Holly said it's better that at least one person is praying than none at all.

I might also add that sometime is think that God gives us too much on purpose so that we have to rely on Him, there is never too much for him since we can do all things through Christ.

True service flows from love

I have really been struggling on the whole issue of my church. The thing is that I have not loved my church and since I was not really loving my brothers and sisters I was really not loving God and therefore I was attending church more as an obligation. Well as a result I have become more cynical about my church and acting more like a little kid by whining about how horrible it is there. I think until I learn to love my church as God does I will not be able to do anything in it.

Not so sure

I saw someone in my family doing a sin, nothing that would land jailtime, but I saw them do it no less. They don't know that I know and now I'm lost. Worse than that this person hurt me a lot in the past and for the most part I forgave them, but I'm getting to the point that I don't know that I can. I'm feeling convicted to because God has forgave me countless times and this is not even against me. Why is it so hard for people to forgive? I think it's almost like saying even though you hurt me deeply I'm going to allow you to be a part of my life. I think Christ endured much more than physical pain on the cross. When you see someone you love doing something destructive it hurts a lot just imagine that intensified infinitely since it is every single person who has hurt Him in many different ways.

10 Days Left.

At last the Vancouver mission trip is right around the corner. I'm just a little nervous (which will probably change to really nervous within the week) mostly just because its a different trip than any other I have gone on before. The group who is going is really awesome, they all have awesome hearts for God. Please keep us in your prayers for safety, and also for the people we will be ministering to just pray they have open hearts.

Youth Group Convictions

So Wednesdays used to be the best day of the week, now they are the worst. I have been complaining about going to this youth group because the students there are I dont even know, but not good. Last week in one of the discussions I mentioned that God did not call us to be comfortable. Now going to the youth group has been a little out of my comfort zone, but for the most part I have been comfortable doing my own thing. Then as I was leaving one of the leaders stopped me and talked and said basically that God has called me to minister, not be comfortable, and that if Im expecting to be comfortable I am in the wrong thing. Ok shall we talk about conviction. Besides that look at my attitude, I have been acting like a spoiled little kid crying about having to do something on the outside of my comfort zone. That is really messed up. So what if I am not comfortable, so what if my so called friends abandon ship, so what if I am not the most popular person on the planet, ultimately none of that matters.

Nicaragua

I've known for nearly a year that God has been calling me to Nicaragua. Aaron told me a story about this guy who was praying for a country for 6 months that was the commitment to pray for a country to see if God did something incredible. It got me thinking about finding some random country to pray for, for the next 181 days (Feb 2 - Aug 2 or 6 months). Wait a sec though, I already have a country to pray for. So for the next 181 days I will be praying for Nicaragua, let's see if God does something huge.