The random thought for tonight.

It did not occur to me when I created this blog about a year and a half ago, that as of July 2012 the name nonconforming teen would be inaccurate, though I suppose if the world ends the following December, besides spending my entire life in school, it will not matter too much. Alas I am now on the market for a new blog site name. Any suggestions?

Ok so on to other things that have depth and meaning, at least too me. I will spend a few minutes now talking to ya'll (yes i know) about forgiveness. It seems to me, as I watch other people have similar experiences with it, that forgiveness is key not only in getting you out from under the control of hatred, bitterness, etc..., but it seems to really help in having victory in other areas of your life be it depression, anger, or addiction. It is incredible, I have seen people go from generally gloomy to happy all the time, but not a feigned happiness, real honest to goodness joy. So just a thought, if you are having trouble forgiving anyone and seem to be stuck in a rut in other areas, perhaps it is time to surrender it to God and live in real freedom.

Not the way I pictured....

Somehow I never thought

that would be the way that God would answer my prayer.

You see about a month ago I prayed that God would provide some way for me to become more open I never dreamed for Him answering so quickly. Sometimes I will pray for something and then I begin getting impatient.

However, I had no such opportunity.

You see, if you have not guessed I like to write, but I am not always the hugest fan of people reading what I write. I know what you are thinking,

“Why do you have a blog dimwit?”

So let me clarify that I do not like people reading certain things I write, especially poetry.

Something about it that makes the existence of walls pretty much impossible.

So now I am preparing so more poetry to turn in to the professor.

I will think about posting them once they are properly edited and such. If I get published I may inform you. I decided to experiment with weird formatting.

Missions

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTVpyUOR_fI

You know I am really getting more and more frustrated here. I live in the Bible belt, roughly 30 congregations that claim Jesus as Lord in my town of 3000. I am not only frustrated that the body of Christ is dismembered into 30ish segments in this town alone, but I am also frustrated that the Great Commission "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." which was the last thing Jesus said to his disciples does not seem to be carried out anymore. I see churches whose focuses seem to be on reaching those inside the church or else those with the city. There are occasions when they support a single people group that is considered unreached, but why do we only focus on one group of people. If there are 3o congregations in my town, it is probably safe to assume the number reaches somewhere close to 100 in a larger town 30 miles from here. What if every single church in America that had a congregation of lets say 150 or more chose to train and sponsor missionaries to unreached people groups? What if people instead of focusing on making the church bigger, better, or prettier, started moving, started denying themselves and went into the world and reached those people?

I gotta ask

I have to ask y'all, has anyone seen the Spirit of God moving recently? I am angry right now because the Spirit does not seem to be moving anymore. At least not where I am. I am angry that at church, the one place where we should be open, is one of many places where we build walls high and have superficial relationships. A few weeks ago while at youth we broke down into small prayer groups, it broke my heart when every kid prayed for their family/parents, but no one was willing to say for what reason. I have seen their families they are spectacular actors. I understand to an extent why no one wants to open up, gossip in this town travels faster (and is more damaging) then a wildfire on a dry, windy day in this town. I did a head count and we are missing the One who makes it count.

Demolishing Wall

Ok so at the implied request of my sister I will go ahead and post the poem. Please give your feedback

Demolishing Wall

Such a strange infatuation that we have!

That we so cling desperately to walls.

These ridiculous things that show only,

That in this world we are indeed fallen.

The footholds of Satan are evident:

The hurts of the past cause us to build at

The suggestion of the evil one, we

Build higher and higher hoping to keep out,

Those people and places that cause us pain.

Or in the physical world we will build.

We show our fallen nature to the world.

We show our materialistic life,

Forgetting that which truly matters most.

Throwing away family, friends, and God too,

We fight hard, holding on to what we see, but

That which truly matters we give up for

The lie of money and fame. Calling us

Ever so softly God speaks to our heart,

“My child, let down your high walls.” If only-

If only we could listen to His voice.

Perhaps, then we could break free from the world.

And we let go of the physical wall,

And we let go of the mental boundary.

But no, we have protected so long, and

Now we have protected ourselves from ourselves,

Our walls so high and thick that we, ourselves,

Can't penetrate to find ourselves there.

The invitation remains to let go, and

To be free, but we choose our painful death,

We so fear the people we once were,

That we find ways,

Of building higher, and

Hiding behind those things that don't matter.

Even physical walls, for the fear of

Transparency. So we hide and hide, but

We never seek to find the life in Him.

The blood that redeems us, frees us also.

If only we would call upon His name, and

Allow the walls to be broken, and

Somehow we can find the life we long for.

We are all seeking God, but we do not

Always acknowledge that, but one day we

Will hit the place where the walls overwhelm.

And we will finally call out to our Father,

Who waits for our cry to extend us grace.

And we say, “We will lean on You, not the world.”

In response to Mending Wall by Robert Frost

http://writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88/frost-mending.html

One Month Later

Well it has been a month since i last updated, but not a whole lot has happened. I backed out of the China trip because God is leading me to go speak at camp this summer, that should be fun. I am looking more and more into a missions organization for when I finish up college here. I got a job, working as a waitress (oh the irony) however I am only on day two of that. Not really a whole lot else.

Operation Love Bug!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!!! A portion of my circle of friends this year for Valentine's day decided instead of whining about being single they were going to do something awesome and fun, they called it operation love bug. Basically what they did is they each bought a few Valentines (or made them) and signed them anonymously and took them to a nursing home. They instructed the nurses to give them to people who received few if any visitors. Basically their goal was to share some love with people who otherwise do not receive it. I am reminded of James 1 where he tells us to visit orphans and widows. Think and pray about this, what if Christians all over did this during various holidays this year and in years to come, what if we all did this and impacted people's lives. These are my thoughts, what are yours?